6 pitfalls that threat your marriage

The root of any family problems is considered to be communication problems between husband and wife. Married couples pose difficulties of communication in the first place on the list of reasons for their conflicts. However, the reason is much deeper, says clinical psychologist Kelly Flanagan. Learn more with our omegle chatroulette blog. Difficulties in family communication are not the cause but the consequence of a problem, the reaction to it. But in the therapist's office wife usually come with clear guidelines to solve the problem of communication, but not what caused them. Imagine a boy who bullied on the playground the others, so that it came to a fight. In the midst of a brawl teacher comes and makes an erroneous conclusion: this boy is the instigator, it is necessary to punish him, but he just said to other people's actions. Something similar happens with family relationships. Difficulties of communication like this boy, but the true instigators of "the fight."

1. We marry because we like our choice.

But people change. Keep this in mind. Going down the aisle, do not think about what is now your betrothed or how you want it to be in the future and how he intends to be. Help him in this formation as well, as it will help you further.

2. Marriage is not a panacea for loneliness.

Loneliness is the natural state of people. Marriage cannot completely save us from it, and when we feel it, we begin to blame our partner or to seek proximity to the side. In married life, people simply divide solitude for two, and the joint is being dissipated, at least for a while.

3. Load shame. We all drag him along.

Most of the times we are try to pretend that this load does not exist. And when the partner accidentally conjures up visions of experiences shame us, we blame him in the occurrence of this unpleasant feeling. But the partner has nothing to do with it. He cannot fix it. Sometimes the best family therapy - individual, as we learn to work with a sense of shame, and do not transfer it to those we love.

4. Our ego wants to win.

Since childhood, the ego has served us with protection, helped to experience insults and blows of fate. But marriage is a wall that separates the couple. It's time to destroy it. Replace defensive maneuvers sincerity, revenge - forgiveness, charges - an apology, power - vulnerability and authoritativeness - mercy.

5. Life in general - an intricate thing, and marriage is no exception.

When something goes wrong, as we would like, we often blame the partner. Stop pointing fingers at each other, better join hands and seek a way out together. Then you will be able together to go through the vicissitudes of life without a sense of guilt and shame.

6. Empathy - it's hard.

Empathy between two people does not arise simply because, by itself. Someone has to show it first, but it still does not guarantee a response. We'll have to take risks, to make sacrifices. Because of this, we are often waiting until the other make the first move. Often, partners are standing still, facing each other in anticipation.