How to break the script relationships that make us suffer?

Stories vary, but the essence remains the same - the hero or heroine of the next novel not make our lives any happier or more stable, but are forced to suffer. If we constantly choose exactly these partners, it is likely to become dependent on a certain type of relationship, says psychologist Susan Daggis Wight. How to get out of this circle? Learn more with our alternative to chatroulette blog. Brain Studies show that dependence on any process, whether it is gambling, uncontrolled food intake or an unhealthy relationship, affects us on the same basis. First, the pleasure begins strongly associated with a particular action. Later, we are trying to regain a sense of happiness, whatever it may cost us. And if our brain reads the devastating chaos as the most desirable, it will be hard to strive for it again and again. So run the wheel that according to things that are only grows with time.

Recognize the addiction

If we consistently choose the wrong person to us, it is important to understand why our brain defines it as the most successful candidate. Once we are aware of these reasons, it will be easier to get rid of addiction and never fall for it hooks. Perhaps it reminds us of the emotions that we experienced in childhood or adolescence. Our brain determines the most familiar to him feelings and emotions as optimal and safe. The paradox lies in the fact that our brain is the most familiar to him feelings and emotions directly determines as optimal and safe, even those emotions that does not make us happy. The brain as it has already held "work on our mistakes," analyzed the relationship important for us, to remember the script and now responds only to a meeting with someone who promises a repeat experience, which for various reasons he was so pleased. In other words, if we have long ignored and humiliated, we are not even in agreement with this state of affairs, starting internally perceive it as granted. Think about what is best to meet with the discomfort of new behavioral habits, than to live in the illusion of security.

Here are four steps to help our brain to change the stable stereotype:

1. Remember all your relationships, in which you were not happy. Be honest with yourself and try to analyze what you seemed so attractive to people with which you obviously were not on the road.
2. If right now you are in a destructive union for you, help the association with a cigarette. It is unrealistic to quit until you know exactly what you have in your pocket tempts pack with nicotine. You will never be free if you do not get rid of that is slowly poisoning your life, whether it be a cigarette or a union with a man. Think of a way out of toxic relationships for you.
3. Remind yourself that your needs are no less important than the needs of your partner. It would be nice to identify them on paper. Surely you want your desire to be respected, your words are heard to appreciate you, worried about you, you were correct.
4. Change the needs of your brain, which selectively reacts only to the relationship in which we feel bad, is not so simple. However, it can gradually retrain. If you meet a new person, who sees its potential partner, begin to initiate and celebrate (even better record) the episodes that do not repeat your previous experience.